Please don’t make a fuss
to celebrate my birth.
I know it’s half a century,
(you can see it in my girth!)
My mother won’t remember me
(as she stabs pins in a doll!)
My Father, brothers, (all bar one)
are stinky rotten trolls…
Birthdays never brought me joy,
so awkward, insecure,
Attention made me shudder, shrink,
till alcohol made me thaw…
Oh then I was a raucous laugh,
a knicker flashing crazy.
Oversharing all my hurts
until the World went hazy.
I used to wish my life away…
Please God, don’t let me wake.
I can’t cope with this living thing,
I’m broken, a mistake.
Never meeting expectations,
outspoken and headstrong.
My truths were most unwelcome,
judged for trying to heal their wrongs.
But one day my small grey life,
burst into waves of colour!
For I met my second Husband
and he made me a Mother.
I had never wanted children,
so frightened by the thought
of being like my parents,
punishing my child, for who I was.
Yet God had other plans for me
He saw how I would be
He trusted my expansive heart,
to build a family.
First we made an Angel,
to guard us all our days
Then we made two marvellous boys,
beautiful in every way.
Now special events had purpose,
we had reason to spread joy.
Adventures filled with laughter,
shared with our so special boys.
And would you believe the greatest gift,
that taught me to be me?
Was sweet Leo’s different brain,
showing me MY identity.
So much has changed these past 8 years,
a new life began for me,
with my ever loving Husband,
Leo and Henry.
Goodbye to cruel intentions
of my family of birth.
Goodbye to toxic alcohol,
to masking and to hurt.
Goodbye to jobs that clone their staff
and thrive on hierarchy
Goodbye old friend depression,
to crushing anxiety.
Hello to authenticity,
to learning about me
to becoming one with nature,
to swimming in the sea.
To photographing birds and bugs,
flowers of all colours.
To rockpooling and gardening,
these things restore my power.
To movie nights and muddy walks,
a tiny dog, two kitties;
an ultra running husband,
cancer beating titties.
Two boys, so very different
yet so happy in their skins,
with passions, skills and talents,
taking part is how they win.
And no, life isn’t perfect,
does that even exist?
Life likes to throw us curveballs,
I’m sure you get the gist.
But when you’re a team,
you share the load,
we all can say ‘I’m sorry’.
Giving up is not an option,
we stay strong in mind & body.
So in truth it’s not my 50th,
I’m actually only 8!
That’s how long I’ve really LIVED
Though inside, I’m more like 12!
Please don’t make a fuss,
to celebrate my birth.
It’s not half a century…
It’s 8 years since my rebirth ❤️
Nothing But The Truth 